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In this issue, I recount my first few MMA classes, the mental benefits of martial arts for assault victims, and yes, the price of gouging an eye.
This non-fiction story is part of a series documenting my ongoing (mis)adventures. You can find previous installments on my Substack homepage. To receive weekly updates in your inbox, subscribe.
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Previously: After being assaulted, I briefly go viral again for my excellent jokes on panda swap. I think, or I’m afraid Kai* is dead. Also, Chinese cartoonists stripped me naked.
This issue starts here.
Prior to Sydney, I had trained and fought in Muay Thai and Jiu-Jitsu. This is a common combination of disciplines for people who want or need to fight in mixed martial arts (MMA), or, I suppose, on the street. To my knowledge, of all the fighting sports, MMA is as close as it gets to a street fight.
I briefly covered Jiu-Jitsu in the first issue. For me, this discipline addresses the grappling aspect of MMA – bringing the opponent to the ground, controlling their movements, and forcing them to submit with joint locks or chokeholds. For the striking part of MMA, I chose Muay Thai, or Thai-style boxing. Compared to most other striking arts, Muay Thai places the fewest restrictions on practitioners, granting us more freedom and, yes, better chances of causing damage to the opponent. This is what I mean by freedom:
*Savate is french-style boxing. Clinching involves holding the opponent close, in order to control their posture and deliver strikes, often using elbows and knees.
Although I already had a background in both striking and grappling, I couldn’t yet call myself an MMA fighter because I’d never fought under MMA rules, and I’d never been taught how to integrate my skills in a cage fight.
My friend who owns the beach house that I stayed at in Sydney is obviously wealthy, so the MMA gym in his suburb was full of white Australians. I was shocked by how tall everyone was. Prior to this visit, I lived in Australia, on and off, for eight years. Never before did I understand how small I am in comparison.
In the MMA class, my first ever, I was the only girl. I weighed around 57 kg, and the next lightest person was 80, so he became my training partner. We started the drill as though I had already pushed him to the edge of the cage. My goal was to execute a takedown, bringing him to the ground while securing a good, dominant position. A dominant position means having control over my partner to prevent him from escaping or countering. One example is the “mount”, where I sit on my partner’s hips with my legs around his torso. In MMA, this position allows one to proceed with “ground and pound”, also known as, beating the shit out of the opponent.
To complete the takedown, I was instructed to pin my partner against the cage with my shoulder and wrap my arms around his torso to establish a “body lock” as securely as possible. He would try to break free, and I would quickly thread one of my hands between his legs, clasp my hands together again, lift him up over my shoulder, walk towards the center of the cage, slam him to the mat, and mount him.
I didn’t think I could lift a 80-kg person over my shoulder, but I did. I even exercised control as I bent my knees and gently lowered my partner to the ground. I was immensely proud of myself.
How much did those Australian police officers weigh? Let’s look at the picture again and try to assess.
Two officers in the shot can be seen restraining me. One of them was gripping my neck with his gloved hand. Other officers from their unit, who are not fully visible in the image, controlled my right limb.
The photo shows my head positioned slightly below one officer’s shoulder, the one who’s controlling my left arm – we’ll call him Arm-grabber. I want to estimate Arm-grabber’s height. Aiming for a conservative estimate, just in case my legs were slightly bent (though I think not) I’ll calculate as if my head were aligned with his shoulder.
The distance from the top of someone's head to their shoulder typically represents about 20-30% of the torso length, and the torso length is roughly half of a person’s total height. Therefore, the difference between my height and Arm-grabber’s would be approximately 10-15% of his height. Given my height of 163 cm (5'4"), this suggests that Arm-grabber's height would be between 181 cm and 191 cm (5'11" to 6'3"). He’s not the tallest in the unit — the Throat-grabber appears to be even taller.
Typically, male fighters between 180 - 185 cm fight in the Middleweight division (84 kg or 185 lbs), while those between 185 - 193 cm generally compete in the Light Heavyweight division (93 kg or 205 lbs). Given that fighters are usually shredded, these officers would probably weigh more at the same height – so likely, they’d weigh around 90 kg or above.
In my second MMA class, my previous partner, who was preparing for a UFC fight, had a camera crew following him. Since I wanted to avoid being photographed and geolocated, I paired up with another student who was 186 cm, weighing around 95 kg. My new partner’s size, which was similar to the Arm-grabber’s, intimidated me. I had to practice positive self-talk and deep breathing before attempting to lift him. I hoisted him up. Sadly, this partner didn’t trust that I could handle his weight. When I was about to attempt a gentle slam he started fussing and squirming and asked to be put down, and I couldn’t complete the full sequence. He could have just jumped off, his feet were only a few centimeters off the ground. I think he has a fear of falling.
If the officers didn’t gang up on me – if I met them in a one-on-one setting and they weren’t carrying any weapons, I might even have a fighting chance. Being able to lift an 80-95 kg man and throw them around, while they were fully cooperating, doesn’t mean I’d win in a fight against them, but it’s a decent place to start.
After one class, I showed the picture of me being assaulted by police to the coach, a retired MMA fighter.
I was absolutely defenseless, I said.
Yeah, you had no chance, he said.
Me: MMA didn’t help.
Coach: It can, if you become more advanced, it would help.
Me: But I couldn’t fight back. If I did I’d be assaulting the police.
Coach: Yeah, you’ll probably go to prison for that.
Then the coach asked why I was doing MMA. I told him the truth briefly, that I’m a persecuted journalist. China wants to do me harm.
Coach: If it’s a really dangerous situation, you should try and gouge their eyes.
Me: Ok, eye-gouging, got it.
Coach: But you’d have to have the stomach for it. Besides, that person would go blind, which would be classified as a total and permanent disability. You’ll probably have to pay between $250,000 and $500,000 for their pain and suffering, and on top of that, cover their medical expenses and loss of income. In other words, it costs a million dollars to gouge an eye.
Please consider upgrading to a paid membership. It is very expensive to be a victim of transnational repression. Each burner device requires its own data plan, and I have to save up for various emergencies, such as when I eventually, inevitably, gouge an eye.
We drilled different variations of this takedown over and over that week. Dozens of times, I immobilized men who towered above me, threw them on the ground, and mounted them. Yes, they let me, but that’s not the point. The point is that within a few sessions, I was able to completely shed the sense of powerlessness and smallness from police assault. I started walking around with my chest held high again.
I observed this over the last couple of years: the brain seems to function like a software system, with new information overwriting the old. The neuroscience term for this is neuroplasticity, which allows the brain to adapt by forming new pathways in response to new information. Research indicates that positive, repetitive experiences can help build new connections and weaken old, negative ones. This process updates and changes how we respond to past trauma.
I’d also look at this from a mathematical perspective. The police assault happened on June 17, 2024. I confronted 3 to 4 large male police officers that day. They were abusive.
In the following week, at the Sydney gym, I trained 12 sessions, drilling with 5 large men and sparring with more, totaling well over 100 confrontations which were all respectful and joyous.
While 100% of the large men (police) I interacted with during the week of June 17th were abusive, 0% of the large men I interacted with in the following week (gym) were abusive. During that two-week period, less than 4% were abusive. If I didn’t do martial arts, most likely those officers would be the only large men I had to confront during the whole year, and I would likely develop fear and resentment towards this category of humans. With martial arts, the more I practice, the less likely I would hold onto the learned fear, or prejudice against large men.
In other words, martial arts help me avoid the trap of hating all men who are stronger than me and assuming that they all intend to harm me. Martial arts makes me a better feminist.
Chin, the Taiwanese reporter who wrote a long feature about my life, mentioned that martial arts serve as a therapeutic tool for me. She quoted one of my coaches in Taiwan as saying “Vicky loves to win. She seems to think that if she lets go, if her hand slips for a second, she’ll lose and her life would be over. Here, we teach her that it’s okay to lose. She won’t die if she loses. She’s safe, even if she loses”. This quote made Chin tear up.
If I could add to Chin’s observations – of course I can, this is my own blog. Martial arts is also therapeutic because it teaches both my body and mind that I’m not powerless, I am not a piñata. When someone comes at me I always have an opportunity to hit back, and I always do. Martial arts teaches our bodies how to exert power. When I practice exerting power for a few hours everyday, rarely do I feel defeated by any circumstance, because I understand that as long as I fuel and rest my body, and breathe, it will reliably grant me more power to exert. I always have power.
The coach who spoke to Chin also told our class at one point that he thinks courage can be learned through martial arts. “The more you practice courage, the braver you are.” He was very philosophical.
Stay tuned for more next week.
Posts here are non-fiction and adhere to journalistic standards. A note on formatting: pseudonyms are marked with an asterisk* at each instance, quotes recalled are not placed inside quotation marks, and sensitive information will be redacted to ensure the safety of myself and others.
Cover photo: random MMA photo from the internet.
You're objective is mistaken. You goal isn't to win. That's not logical or even possible. Your goal is to make losing so painful that most don't attack you, and if they do to leave plenty of evidence so whoever has to clean up after can figure out what happened and who did it. You imagine yourself having a fighting chance against a lone male police officer who is at least 20kg/50 pounds heavier than you and has years of training not to mention backup. That idea of yours, if you actually believe it is also unrealistic. Whatever your goals with your police interactions are, you're viewpoint is mistaken. Please note: I have been arrested and jailed many, many times. I have also been in many violent fights. I prefer putting people in jail or hospital rather than putting them in a morgue.
I regard eye strikes as possible but unlikely. They require you to be at very close quarters and since you are not so large as your opponents that means they have their weight advantage, you are already grappling, and if they have any training at all welcome to ground, population you. Honestly, your goal should be to avoid grappling, and to strike at the kneecap, with low kicks, specifically targeting right underneath the kneecap, seeking to basically prise it off the rest of their leg. Nasty. Effective!
The simple fact is: pound per pound women's heart muscle is 80% that of a man of the same size. Similarly, women have only about 20%(!) of the upper body strength of a man of the same size. People like to imagine otherwise, whether for marketing or politics or cope. However, as a matter of close combat, in consequence of these facts as opposed to wishful thinking, you need to rely on your legs, which are about as powerful in fact as a man of similar size, but not for running away, since women run much slower than men because of hip structures adapted to birthing children.
You should also be considering varieties of weapons, notably pepper spray, possibly also a nice long knife. Stab, don't slash.
It's interesting to read your writing but whoever is giving you close combat advice is missing the mark.
Say hi to the MSS next time you see them for me.
Love it.